Dear Ma Carrizzo,

When I heard the incredibly sad news of your passing, I didn’t want to believe it. I was in a complete state of shock. Then reality set in and my heart was shattered.

My heart was broken for me, it was broken for Sue and your sons, it was broken for Luke and the girls, it was broken for Pa Carrizzo, Beebs, Drew and your daughters-in-law, and everyone you have ever touched in your lifetime. My heart is broken, and life will never, ever be the same now that you are no longer with us. The hurt that comes with your passing is a deep pain where you want to sleep because at least then there is no pain and no knowing of what is reality. Knowing that we all have to go on without you is too much to bear. But I know it my heart that you are here, we just can’t see you. I know you are with your parents now and I know you wouldn’t want us to be sad, but the truth is we are because you were one of a kind.

Your life was a particularly special one. You touched so many souls. The only way I know how to say “Thank you” to you is to honor you with a letter. So here goes:

I loved the way you smiled, the way you greeted me whenever I would come over. You would always give the biggest hugs, hugging me like you meant it. You always told me how much you loved me and that I was enough in this lifetime. You made me feel really special and truly a part of your family. I remember that whenever I was upset, you would take the time to really listen, and you would tell me that everything would be okay. And it always was. You were the kind of person who sincerely cared about others and their feelings. You were a selfless woman who always, always put others first.

You were selfless beyond measure, putting the needs of others ahead of your own. Your kindness knew no bounds. Your heart overflowed with compassion. Whether it was lending a helping hand to a friend or helping and giving to your grandchildren, you dedicated your time and energy to uplifting those around you. Your ability to see the struggles of others and respond with genuine empathy made you a beacon of hope in a world that often felt indifferent. People were drawn to you, to your warmth. Your legacy of generosity inspired many to pay it forward, continuing the kindness you exemplified. In a world that seemed focused on self-interest, you reminded us all of the power and beauty of selflessness.

I’ll never forget when my Uncle Ray dies you came to the wake and when we walked outside together you just turned towards me and gave me the biggest hug and just cried with me. You consoled me to the point where we didn’t need to exchange words because the way you made me feel in that moment didn’t need any word. I could feel your words in your embrace.

I also remember when you were living on Putnam Park Road. I used to love, love the Carrizzo dinners. I can remember Pop sitting at the table, along with everyone else, and you would be running back and forth from the kitchen to the dining room making sure that everyone had what they needed. I don’t ever remember you sitting down at the table. Just like the line from the movie, A Christmas Story, “My mother had not had a hot meal in 15 years.” That was you. You always made sure everyone had what they needed and were taken care above yourself.

You were a kind hearted right down to your core, the kind of person who would give the shirt off of their back for someone in need. You didn’t have a mean bone in your body. You cared about others and you cared about animals, too. You radiated warmth and empathy. You prioritized the needs of others and made them feel valued. You listened attentively and engaged in thoughtful gestures that demonstrated genuine care. This is who you were: patient, understanding and nonjudgmental. You strove for harmony and goodwill. Your positivity and generosity encouraged me to be kind to others, too.

You loved hard, especially your family. Your husband, your children and your grandchildren were your entire world. You made sure they knew they were loved at all times. There was nothing in this world you would not do for them.

You werea born caretaker. The way you took care of others was selfless and compassionate, and you made it look easy, even though I’m sure you were often tired. I remember when I was younger watching you take care of Pop, including when he was dying, and I saw firsthand the love and care you had for him. I always admired that about you. Youtook great care of your sister, too, and were there for her every moment she needed you. You were her cheerleader in life.

You were the heart of your home. A wonderful homemaker whose warmth and dedication transformed every corner of your household into a sanctuary. Your kitchen was a haven of creativity where you would craft meals that were not just delicious but also a labor of love. But it wasn’t just your ability to create beautiful home that made her remarkable, it was your nurturing nature. Listening intently, always ready for support or a comforting words.  You fostered an environment where everyone felt safe to express themselves, encouraging your loved ones to pursue their dreams and passions. Family gatherings were always filled with laughter and joy, were a testament to the strong bonds you cultivated. In essence, you were more than a homemaker, you were a guiding light, a source of inspiration, and the glue that held your family together. Your legacy was woven into the very fabric of their lives showcasing that the true essence of home lies in your love, care and togetherness.

You were such a special person and you have left such a huge whole in my heart and nothing can fill it except you. You have left a huge hole in all our hearts that can’t be filled.

I promised myself recently that I would always tell the ones I love the most what they mean to me. Here’s what you have meant to me. You were my second mother and you have given me a lifetime of fond memories. Ones that I will cherish for the rest of my life. Some of them are really, really funny and dear to my heart. I will never ever forget you, and you will be in my heart until I see you again. I will honor your legacy by paying it forward to others, as my way of saying thank you, to you for the rest of my life.

Thank you for being you. I will love you always, forever and beyond, until we meet again.

Love,

Fran xoxox

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