Photo Credit: Michele Roman @ micheleromanphotography.com

By: Fran Martin

When my sisters and I were little and growing up my parents brought us to The Newtown United Methodist Church located in Sandy Hook, Connecticut. We didn’t always like going to church, we had to go early in the morning and I am sure that my mom struggled at times to get all three of us dressed and out the door.

When we would go to church I can remember staying upstairs for parts of the sermon and then having to go downstairs for the second half of church for Sunday School. I remember learning some stuff but not a lot that I retained. What I liked best about church was going to youth group, that was where we got to hang out with kids our age and go on trips that involved helping others, having pizza parties in the downstairs of the church and doing sleep-a-thons, that was fun. I really enjoyed doing all of that when I was young. I also really liked choir, my mother signed all three of us up for choir in the church and we would sing in church on Sundays. We would sing in the Christmas pageants every year. After church my parents would stop at this convenient store they would pick up the Sunday paper and three small Peppermint Patties if we behaved in church. If we didn’t behave we didn’t get one. We usually got one but there were times when we didn’t. I have good memories of church when I was little. I am glad that my parents gave us that.

Now that I am grown up and have a child of my own I want him to have religion in his life. He attends a Catholic School in Newtown, Connecticut and he receives religious education at school and he attends church on Fridays with his classmates. Sometimes he complains about having to go to church on Fridays and I don’t blame him, most little kids don’t really want to do that. My husband and I along with our son have gone to my son’s school’s church a few times. We enjoy it together. We have even taken time off of work on Friday’s to go with our son to church you can do that there, the school encourages it. I want my son to want to go to church and really get something from it and enjoy it and I want him to see his parents attending church and know that they have faith in God. I, personally for me and my family think that it is important.

My dear friend Michele Roman a few years back said to me very casually one day when she saw me struggling, “Fran want to go to church with me?” I said, “okay”. She didn’t push it on me she just openly invited me. So, I started attending Faith church with my son. I really loved it the first time that I went. I loved the music that they play and the songs that they sing. I loved hearing the sermons from the pastor there. I just loved it. My son didn’t at first. I think because he goes to church so much in school that he just really didn’t want to have to go to church again on Sundays. I take into consideration what my son’s feelings are and I don’t ever push him into doing something that he really doesn’t want to do because what fun is that and it makes the experience even harder on me. I don’t want resentment to build inside of him for me. So we would go every now and again to Faith and still I would get the same response from my son, the struggle of just not wanting to go. I noticed for myself though that when we did go that I myself personally would feel better and feel revived for the week ahead. My son did not like it, period.

Then one day about three weeks ago my son started saying to me, “Hey mom do you want to go to Faith Church on Sunday?” I was surprised and excited all at the same time. I didn’t ask him why he wanted to go I just went with it. For the past three weeks we have been going every Sunday. We are going to go this Sunday for Easter. My son said to me when we were leaving church last week, “I really like this church they do a lot of fun stuff in the kids room and I like the songs.” I told him how great that was. When I go to church I always ask him if he wants to come with me or if he wants to go to the Sunday School room with all the others kids where I would pick him up when church was over. Last week he wanted to come with me and we got to watch an Easter play which was fabulous, you literally felt like you were watching a Broadway Show. It was incredible and when I looked next to him he was singing along and I didn’t let him know that I was watching him. He brought his Bible which is my Bible that I received when I was younger at The Newtown United Methodist Church when I was little. He even wanted me to get him a chain with a cross on it after church, they have a little gift shop stand outside in the hallway at Faith. I bought it for him and he has not take it off ever since.

I am glad that he wants to go to church now with me. My husband comes when he can because he typically works on Sundays but he makes it when he can. I am glad that my son has faith and believes in God. I want him to have a relationship with God, I think that it is important. I know for myself that when I was struggling throughout moments in my life, just going to Faith gave me hope that things would get better and they did. So for now I am just going to go with it and keep going with my son. He was telling me how excited he is to go to church on Easter this Sunday and that makes me excited for him. I will be forever grateful to my dear friend Michele for introducing me to Faith because I think it is a wonderful place and Faith does a lot of good things for others all the time. We are going to keep going to church and see where this journey takes us. I am happy. For me personally as a mom, I think that it is critical to take into consideration what your child is feeling. They are humans too, yes they are small but they have feelings too and they matter and what they think and feel matters. I think forcing a child to do something that they really do not want to do can cause more harm than good. It matters to me what my son thinks and feels and what he does and does not want to do. I knew that in his own time that he would come around and want to go for himself not because I told him that he had to do it. For this I am happy he is his own person and I want him to be happy with his choices in life. I think that we are embarking on a beautiful journey together in Faith. Thank you again Michele Roman, I dedicate this post to you my beautiful friend inside and out. If you are ever looking for a stellar photographer visit her website at http://www.micheleromanphotography.com she is a wonderful photographer.